Broken Dreams
Part three of Sky Sports News' documentary: Chasing the Dream
If you are affected by any of the topics covered in this article and would like more information on organisations that can provide you with help and support, click here.
0.06%.
It's a number so small, it's hard to comprehend.
But that is the chance of a young boy becoming a professional footballer in this country.
Only six in every 10,000 make the grade.
Armed with those facts, we embarked on what became the largest, most comprehensive investigation ever carried out by Sky Sports News.
What started off as a plan for a 15-minute mini-documentary, quickly snowballed. The more we spoke to people involved with academy football in England, the more stories we discovered.
The more issues were uncovered. Whenever we answered one question, it seemed to lead to another that needed addressing.
What we ended up with was three-and-a-half hours of fascinating content, and a seven-part documentary series, looking at every aspect of youth football in this country: the good, the bad, and the seemingly impossible.
Because that was our starting point. Is the ambition to become a professional footballer an almost impossible dream? It is widely known that only a tiny minority of young boys ever make a career out of the game. And yet that does not stop so many from trying.
Millions of young boys who are 'Chasing the Dream'.
Watch on Sky Sports Premier League and Sky Sports Football from November 24. Showing on Sky Documentaries from December 2 to December 5.
All episodes available on demand from November 24.
"I pulled the car over and I was like, ‘I can't do this anymore’.”
Lewis Reed, former Ipswich academy player
“His identity was a footballer. He had nothing else. If he wasn't good enough for football, he wasn't good enough to be here.”
Maxine Langton, mother of former Mansfield academy player Matthew Langton
Lewis Reed's story
Lewis Reed was 18 years old, and he knew his time at Ipswich Town’s academy was coming to an end. It was at that point he decided he wanted his life to end too.
That day, in 2020, is still incredibly vivid in his mind - it is a day that he has never spoken publicly about before. But Lewis has chosen to do so as he continues his recovery, wanting to share his story as part of the new Sky Sports News documentary series 'Chasing the Dream'.
“I remember what I had for breakfast. I remember going to the ground,” he says. “I remember taking a photo of my boots, before the game, and sending it to mum and dad, saying ‘game day’ - it's something I always do.
“Exeter at home, all the [academy] boys had been recalled from their loans, from the [under] 23s, and the first team. So I knew I wasn't going to play.
"The game started, and I was on the bench. I'd been warming up, running up and down the touchline, running like crazy. We got into the second half, and then I looked around and realised I was the only second-year boy who wasn't on the pitch.
“And then after the game, I was that low and depressed, I didn't want to go out with the boys. And I'm just sitting there in a corner of the changing room, thinking ‘get me the hell out of here’. Got in my car, just turned the music on.
“And as I leave Portman Road, I just burst into tears, driving home, literally in tears, screaming. And I'm almost having flashbacks of how good my life was, the goals I'd scored, places I'd been.
“I pulled the car over and I was like, ‘I can't do this anymore’.”
Lewis was 300 miles away from his home in South Wales, and he was depressed and despairing.
All he had ever dreamed of was becoming a professional footballer. And when Ipswich came calling at the age of 16, it seemed the stars had aligned.
His grandfather, Billy Reed, was a Wales international who played more than 150 games for Ipswich Town in the 1950s.
The thought that Lewis might follow in his grandfather’s footsteps, and actually play for the club his whole family supported, was a heady prospect.
But the reality was very different once he signed for Ipswich.
A series of injuries limited his chances to play regularly in the academy matches, and he became increasingly isolated from the rest of his team-mates as his physio and rehab sessions differed from their training schedules.
By the time he became a second-year scholar, he knew he had no chance of gaining a professional contract with Ipswich, and his mental health deteriorated rapidly.
"I started bottling it up. Going to bed at times, crying and thinking ‘why is this happening to me?’"
Lewis Reed
He reached his lowest ebb in that academy game against Exeter where, having remained an unused substitute, and knowing his dream was receding, he decided suicide was his only option.
As he sat in his car, alone and planning to take his own life, he received a text message.
Reed continued: “I just remember looking at my phone and my last notification was from my mum saying ‘OK, lovely, take care, get home safe, speak to you later’.
"And I just thought ‘I can't not say goodbye to my mum and dad’. So I just started the car and went home.”
The Reed family know now just how timely that text message was, in bringing Lewis back from the brink.
But, at the time, they did not know his mental health was as poor as it was.
“We were very acutely aware that he was very, very down and upset,” his dad, Rob, recalls.
“We used to FaceTime every night. Phone would come on, you could tell by his face straight away, it was: ‘Oh, this is a bad one’.
And he'd say, ‘this happened, and I’m not in the squad for tomorrow’, or ‘I've been told this’ or ‘they're not happy about that’. And all you can try and do is buoy him up.”
It was only after Lewis had left Ipswich and returned home to South Wales that he told his parents about his suicide plan.
“One day, we had a phone call: ‘Can you come home? I need to speak to you and mum,’” Rob remembers.
“He said, ‘Sit down. I've got something to tell you. And he said: ‘I nearly took my own life'.
"To hear that come from your own child, you just can't even begin to comprehend it.”
But Lewis’ story is a positive one of recovery and redemption.
He has undergone regular therapy to help focus on his mental health, and he is now thriving back home near Swansea, working as a kitchen designer and playing for his local team Ammanford FC in the Cymru South league.
He was top scorer for his club last season, and second top scorer in the league. He bears no ill-will towards Ipswich, and the Reed family remain supporters of the club.
He has had many offers to play at a higher level, but has turned them all down.
“He got to that lowest of low ebbs, and he's now turned his life around,” says his dad, with obvious pride.
“It's incredibly positive, his story, and where he is now.”
“Last year was probably the most I’ve enjoyed my football in years,” Lewis beams.
“It was getting to the point where I was turning up [for games] thinking: ‘how many am I going to score?’ I've had offers since I joined, to leave and go to a higher level.
"But no, everything here is what I want. I live five minutes from the ground, not saying it's a comfort blanket, but I play for my home club now.
“I still go to bed at night and I'm still dreaming about playing football. I'll always still have that burning desire, that part of me that always wanted to be a footballer.”
“The safeguarding and welfare provision across the club has seen substantial improvements in recent years.
"All academy players now have mentorship from former coaches or players, to help them transition elsewhere in football, or outside the game when they’re released.
"Support sessions are designed to help players manage stress, anxiety and performance-related pressure.”
Ipswich Town speaking to Sky Sports
Matthew Langton's story
“His identity was a footballer. He had nothing else. The way he processed it was that - if he wasn't good enough for football, he wasn't good enough to be here.”
Maxine Langton has endured a pain that no parent should ever have to feel. She lost her son Matthew to suicide three years ago, after he was released by Mansfield Town.
He was just 20-years-old. She tells her harrowing story for the first time on TV, as part of the new Sky Sports News documentary series 'Chasing the Dream'.
“The morning he took his life, he was supposed to leave work (at a nearby supermarket) at 7am and he'd left at 5am. Nobody noticed 'til 6, and they rang him and he didn't answer. Just after half past 6, I got woke up.
“I don't know what woke me up, but I woke up. I went into his bedroom….and I just knew straight away. I knew. I went next door to get the neighbours for help and Richie, our next door neighbour, started CPR on him.
“But I knew he was gone. I just knew it.”
Matthew Langton was a promising young player. His mum recalls how he was never without a football, from his earliest days - always doing keepy-ups, in the back garden, by the pool on holiday.
His dream was to become a professional, and he was on the road to making that possible.
He joined Derby’s academy at the age of seven, but at 16, he was let go. At that point, he joined Mansfield, but two years later, he was released again.
Maxine believes there needs to be more support for young players within football clubs, and that youth coaches need to be more honest with players who they think might struggle to make a career in the game.
New statistics produced by Sky Sports News show that 91 per cent of academy footballers end up never playing a single game as a professional.
“We were never told the downside of it. Only the upside. No one said ‘look, he's going to be released, just to warn you’. So between the coach and you, you compare that child. I mean, at 16, at that age, you’re so vulnerable.
“We were trying to steer him towards other careers. We know as parents that it might not happen (him becoming a professional footballer). In a way, you're a bit naive that you're crossing fingers and hope everything works out as it works out, because that's what you did as a kid.
“He wouldn't open up. He had every opportunity to open up with us, but I think he felt that much of a failure, of how worthless he was with his identity totally gone. He couldn't live in the world that was left."
Maxine Langton
Matthew’s bedroom remains untouched from the moment he passed. His Xbox, his Mansfield kit, his football boots.
Maxine said: “Everything's as it was but he's not there. It's like being in a shop and someone's gone, you've lost your kid and you're forever searching. I'm forever searching for Matthew."
Mansfield Town have told us that everyone at the club was deeply saddened to learn of Matthew’s passing in 2021 and their heartfelt thoughts remain with his loved ones.
They also say the club is committed to providing a safe and positive environment and takes its duty of care very seriously in relation to children and young people.
If you've been affected by any of the topics covered in this article and would like more information on organisations that can provide you with help and support, click here.
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