Watch Nigel Owens on My Icon on demand on Sky Sports
Saturday 25 November 2017 20:49, UK
He has refereed a Rugby World Cup Final in front of over 80,000 people - but for Nigel Owens, the greatest pressure he ever felt was to simply be true to himself.
Owens has shared his story in a candid new interview for Sky Sports' My Icon series, which returns on Friday with a Rainbow Laces theme to mark the campaign's November activation.
The proud Welshman reached the pinnacle of his profession when he took charge of New Zealand's 34-17 victory over Australia at Twickenham in October 2015. He was made an MBE for services to sport in 2016.
I thought I'd have to choose between carrying on refereeing and living a lie, or to give up refereeing to carry on with my life.
Owens knows only too well how a moment of fortune when he was aged 26 gave him the chance in life to achieve his ambitions.
"The biggest challenge of my life was accepting my sexuality, and that took me many years and put me in a very dark place," says Owens.
"One night, I did something that I will regret for the rest of my life. I left a note for my mum and dad, and said that I can't carry on my life any more. I didn't tell them why.
"If I hadn't been found by the police helicopter and people looking for me, and airlifted to hospital, another 20 minutes and it would have been too late."
Having overcome that challenge, next came Owens' fear of sharing who he was with others in the rugby community.
"There was nobody out in the macho world of rugby," he explains.
"I was scared of coming out. Would sport accept me? I thought I would have to choose between carrying on refereeing and living a lie, or to give up refereeing to carry on with my life and be happy within myself.
"Nobody should have to make that decision of actually being yourself, or deciding to continue in the sport that you love."
Don't miss the Nigel Owens interview in full on My Icon. All My Icon episodes are available on Demand.
