Tuesday 5 July 2016 16:27, UK
Rangi Chase has spoken of his battle with depression as he prepares to make his return to Super League in this weekend's State of Mind themed round.
The 30-year-old former England international quit rugby league in May, just six months into a two-year deal with Championship club Leigh, and was seriously considering hanging up his boots after losing his love for the game.
Two months on, Chase has returned to his first English club, Castleford, where he was crowned Man of Steel in 2011, and is set to resume his Super League career against Catalans Dragons at the Jungle on Sunday.
Chase admits his return in a round of fixtures championing mental health issues is appropriate.
"I think it's massive and it's a credit to the RFL that they touch on it because a lot of the boys struggle with it," Chase said.
"People should be aware of it because a lot of us boys have to go through a lot of things and we put on this bravado that we're okay. It's not something that people like talking openly about because you feel weak and vulnerable.
"But really we go home and we feel alone. It's good to get the message out there that it does happen in our game, a lot of people do suffer from depression.
"They need someone to talk to and it's good that we're raising awareness of it.
"When you're down in the dumps, you feel like the world is against you. When you are in that dark place, you feel weak and vulnerable, you just have a lot of down days and it's not nice.
"But when you come through it, it's an unbelievable feeling. You feel strong."
Chase says the time he spent away from the game prompted him to recall his glory days at Castleford, where he scored 47 tries in 129 appearances from 2009-13.
The Tigers received a transfer fee thought to be around £115,000 when he joined Salford on a four-year deal but he spent less than two years with the Red Devils before being released and went on to make just five appearances for Leigh.
"Things didn't work out at Salford and things didn't work out at Leigh and then I started playing to a standard that was nowhere near my standard," Chase said. "I wasn't even playing at Championship standard. It was frustrating.
"I think I was kidding myself. I kept trying to tell myself I was okay when I wasn't.
"This time I genuinely feel very good. The break has been the best thing for me. I had the chance to think about things and it's refreshed me, it's done me the world of good.
"The last time I really enjoyed playing, it was at Cas. There's no better crowd and no stadium that's better. I miss those times and, when I got the chance to come back, I was never going to let it go. I'm so lucky to get a second chance.
"It feels awesome to be back. It feels like I'm coming back home, like I never left. I'm looking forward to it, I'm excited."
