Former swimmer Michael Gunning is Jamaica's first openly gay athlete; he competed at the 2017 and 2019 World Championships but retired from competitive swimming in 2022; he talks through being a role model for other people as part of LGBT+ History Month
Friday 2 February 2024 09:27, UK
As part of LGBT+ History Month, double World Championships GB and Jamaica swimmer Michael Gunning discusses being the sporting role model he never had...
I had multiple sides to my identity growing up. I was a sporty kid raised in suburban south London. I was mixed race. And I wasn't interested in girls.
As one of very few non-white kids in the pool, I suppressed my sexuality because I desperately didn't want to be any more different. I was already bullied and became scared of my differences, to the point that I didn't want to think about them.
I was ashamed and would have given anything to be 'normal'. 'How will people react?' That's all I could think about being my true self. Now, I'd love the chance to go back and say: 'Embrace it. Have the confidence to be yourself and don't hide anything.'
That's what I hope my story can encourage among today's young people.
I think it does. On a school visit, a young boy said he was too scared to come out; I was the first person he told. Since then his teacher says he's come out to his family and friends and can finally be himself. The fact I could touch his life and influence it positively makes me really proud, but I also wonder how many people would have benefitted from greater representation 20 or 30 years ago.
Because of the climate their generation endured, many of the sporting icons who would later become pioneering LGBT+ figures like Mark Foster, Colin Jackson and Kelly Holmes only felt ready to come out in retirement. That was perfectly common until recently, and as a result I, and other athletes my age, grew up without role models in that space. I'm delighted that today is a new story entirely.
That's why LGBT+ History Month is important: we stand on the shoulders of those who've gone before us, and without pausing to reflect we might forget that today's LGBT+ athletes benefit from the bravery of Mark, Colin, Kelly, Tom Daley, Tom Bosworth, Jake Daniels, Nicola Adams and many, many more - hopefully, I dare say, myself included.
People might ask why that's important. About four years before the end of my competitive career I came out publicly, with incredible support from my team-mates and loved ones. And, yes, it made no difference to them.
It made a huge difference to me, though. For a start my competitive performances transformed. I didn't have to pretend to be the perfect athlete - serious and intimidating - so I could do what worked for me. That meant smiling, waving to the crowd, and walking out with Ariana Grande playing through my headphones.
It helped me compete without fear and become Jamaica's first openly gay athlete. I also hope it showed young people - sporty and not - that you can be yourself and still be successful, you can be gay and a sportsperson; your identity and sexuality are mutually exclusive of nothing else.
Although life today is almost as busy as my competitive days, I embrace every opportunity to stand up in public and be myself, because I'm a big believer that if you can see it, you can be it. It's why I'm an ambassador for the British Elite Athletes Association and others, to show today's generation of sportspeople that it's okay to be who you are, whoever you are.
For much of my career I struggled with the label 'gay, black swimmer' because I felt it detracted from my achievements. I may have been a gay, black swimmer, but I was also a bloody fast one! Now I've embraced the role I play. I hope that if I bear the title now, others can be known just as themselves in future, with nothing obscuring their name in the headlines.
And headlines are certain this year, with the Paris Olympic and Paralympic Games taking place in the summer. The Games will throw athletes' names into the spotlight, and, whether they're ready or not, they will become role models for future generations. I want every athlete who travels to Paris to feel comfortable with who they are, and it feels great to be part of the legacy in supporting them to do so. I'm sure every one of them will go on to inspire many more around the world.
I often asked myself: 'Am I proud of who I am?' The harsh reality is that for so long I wasn't. But the gold dust came through when I started to embrace my differences and could finally be myself. I'm proud I came out when I did because it allowed me to be my authentic self during my career. The love and support show me that, after years of progress, being a gay sporting role model is a wonderful position to hold. I have every faith that many more will follow.
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