"I've read that one Australian has said it is going to get 'brutal'. Brutal - it's a no-contact sport! Can you hear yourselves? You're being a complete tool!"
Friday 1 December 2017 20:02, UK
Bumble is back from his cruise down the Danube - but will he return? He reveals all in his latest blog, plus shakes his head at the Ashes sledging, hails his tarmac layers, and wishes Liam Livingstone well as Lancashire captain…
We went down the Danube and Mrs Lloyd thought it was absolutely fantastic but, to be honest, I won't be rushing back!
It were very nice but I'm not one for your regimented tours, if you know what I mean, with everybody all together. I'm not one of them, 'here's a castle, here's a church' - I'd rather go off-piste and find out what's what, but I had to fall in line.
Mrs Lloyd likes that aspect of it, though. We went to Salzburg, Vienna and Budapest. Budapest was lovely and although I've been to Vienna before, we went to a couple of wonderful little villages en route which were outstanding.
I also took a helmsman's course, which sounds very grand but it just means I can set off and park the boat. I've got a little river cruiser and we're going to have a bit of fun on the River Ouse, towards York way. I can have a kip on it as well, I've got a sleeping bag!
I've watched a shed-full of football on telly and live, too. Plus, I'm having some tarmac laid at the moment - they're doing a ruddy good job, the people who are doing it. It takes a lot of digging out, drains and all that business but they're doing a cracking job, an outfit from Malton.
Anyway, on to the cricket. England are poor starters, we've talked about it before and now they're chasing the Ashes series.
I've been playing catch-up - doing a lot of listening and reading. The stuff that I've put out is that if you look at the top eight, you've got two innings each, 16 chances and I think we got four fifties.
The lads who got fifties will be thinking that they really should have got a hundred because Smith's really was the difference. He got 141 not out and they won the game.
Smith is the present day Shiv Chanderpaul in that he is difficult to bowl at, he's different. He moves around in the crease and the bowlers will have to come up with some sort of plan or just be impromptu on the day.
He played wonderfully well - he is one of the best in the world and he will get hundreds.
England's batters have to get hundreds. The game was lost for them at 195 all out. Also, Australia were 209-7 and then we don't bowl a bouncer at Pat Cummins for 45 balls - what is the thinking there? They've got to be sharper, much sharper, than that.
I wondered from reading about it whether England, if they had their time again, would have bowled first? It seemed to get easier that pitch.
They got caught in the third innings with Australia firing on all cylinders in a really difficult 90-minute or two-hour session. They were vulnerable but I would expect them to improve.
I'd be quite defiant and say they've got nothing to fear from this Australian lot. They've just got to put a game together and stay with them - I'm not interested in all this rubbish about sledging! Crikey, grow up! Get yourself a flipping life! Can you hear yourselves?
Ben Stokes is now in New Zealand. I’ve no idea about the judicial system but it does seem odd to me that it’s taken so long. A bloke has a fight in a street. That’s the end of it. What are we waiting for?
My first thought on the Jonny Bairstow 'headbutt' was 'how come you've taken four weeks to think about this? What is your problem?' I've read that one of them has said it is going to get 'brutal'. Brutal - it's a no-contact sport! Can you hear yourselves? You're being a complete tool!
On the county front, Liam Livingstone has been named the new Lancashire captain - I've met the lad a couple of times and he has been very impressive. He's a very good player and he's going to be a terrific player but at 24 he is going to need some good senior players.
He has a reputation as being - I'm going to choose my words carefully here - "combative". People tell me that Lancashire are not a popular team, so I would like to think they can change that because you can play hard, tough cricket and still have the respect of the opposition.
I think in cricket, at amateur level, club level, league cricket and even Test cricket, respect is a massive word - and you have to earn it. I wish Liam and Lancashire well.
I'm now stuck at home, mainly in Yorkshire, where it has been sleeting - we've had a fair amount of snow and there is some black ice about, too.
It begs the question: would I rather be in Yorkshire or in Adelaide? Let me think about it and I'll come back to you - it's touch and go…
