All Blacks legend Dan Carter says he still "feels sick" about his drink-driving charge in France eight months ago.
The 35-year-old, who plays for Racing 92, was banned from driving for five months after police caught him intoxicated behind the wheel in Paris.
Carter admitted his punishment was lenient and that he'd let a lot of people down, but added he was grateful no one was hurt by his actions.
"It's not about the punishment that the judge gives you or the fine or anything like that, it's actually the potential consequences that really hit home for you," he told New Zealand's Radio Sport.
"It actually made me feel sick and it makes me feel sick now, thinking and talking about it.
"It was a really challenging time for me and my family, I felt like I let a lot of people down, but people make mistakes in their life. The most important thing is that you learn from it.
"Much as I'd love to say I've moved on from it, it's something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life."
Carter, who played 112 Tests for New Zealand, lost a sponsorship deal over the incident, which dented his image as one of rugby's most marketable players.
The fly-half's current deal in France runs out at the end of this season, and Carter admits he's weighing up whether to return to New Zealand.
He said: "New Zealand is where the family is and family is a big part of my life. I'm kind of going through those thoughts at the moment, whether I stay, whether I look at other opportunities."