“People thought I was on the wrong side of everything, or just naughty’, Wales and Saracens prop Donna Rose says matter-of-factly. “It took everything inside of me to come out with it.”
The 31-year-old hasn't always been comfortable talking about her borderline personality disorder (BPD) condition, the mental health illness that impacts an individual's ability to regulate their emotions.
"I don't shout about it," Rose tells Sky Sports. "I like to be treated like a normal human being. If I'm sad, I don't want people running over to me and being over-caring. I'm quite good at getting myself back from that.
"It's been hard and I didn't admit it when I was first diagnosed. I was turned off from it. People thought I was naughty, so I didn't admit it and wanted to hide it."
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Rose was in her early 20s when she was diagnosed with BPD having spent time in and out of hospital having regular tests and spending sessions with a councillor. However, it wasn't until a few years later that she felt comfortable and confident to open up about her condition and help others struggling with their mental health.
Rose is currently in New Zealand for the Rugby World Cup and preparing for Sunday's contest against the hosts and holders on the back of last weekend's encouraging and last-gasp 18-15 triumph over rivals Scotland.
"One minute I can be really happy, dancing around and be the life and soul of the party," she explains. "The next moment I can be sitting in a corner feeling really depressed thinking that I shouldn't be here.
"Some days I can wake up feeling like 'wow I'm in New Zealand, at the World Cup'. Other days I can think that I don't deserve it and talk myself down. The next minute I could run into the team room, making funny faces, it's very up and down. It's very hard to deal with, but I have a very good support network."
The rugby community has been a strength of support since she revealed her condition. Rose joined Saracens in 2019 and earlier this year was one of just 12 Wales players to be handed a historic professional deal.
Before turning full-time, Rose worked as a carpenter, a profession she didn't take up until the age of 25 but one she admits was great at helping with interacting with people. Previous to that, she worked as a chef, but the unsociable hours weren't conducive to her passion for rugby and fitting in training.
Her sporting career has blossomed later in life. That is thanks in part to Saracens head coach Alex Austerberry who persuaded her to switch from No 8 to become prop. Sport has allowed her to feel comfortable and honest about her condition as well as providing the outlet to help with her rising anxiety levels.
"Sport calms you down," she says. "Lucky enough in rugby you can hit pads, get tackled and stuff that releases the tension in a big way. But playing sport definitely helps me. In the past, when I've not been playing because of it being the end of the season, that would be when it would get really bad. My mum would be able to tell if I wasn't playing rugby, because I would get quite ill."
As she has got older, Rose has recognised the importance of being open about her illness.
"When I was younger, being diagnosed didn't really matter to me, I chucked it to the back of my head. Now becoming a professional and moving on with life, it's something that has helped me knowing because I have had a lot of help, Wales have helped me a lot.
"I'm an ambassador for Brave Mind (a community making a positive and lasting difference to the rugby community's mental health and wellbeing) and they wanted me to go into schools and talk about it and help individuals, so I'm honoured to do that. Because that's what I've wanted all my life since I sat down and realised what I have. It's to use this to help others and let other people know that it is OK."
Turning professional has given Rose more time to focus on supporting others. Only last month, Vodafone agreed a multi-year partnership with the Welsh Rugby Union to become the Founding Principal of women and girls' rugby with the aim of reaching over 10,000 female players in Wales by 2026. The deal will see Vodafone sponsor the Wales Women shirts for a bespoke kit for next spring's 2023 Six Nations.
Inspiring the next generation will also be on the players' minds as they turn their attention toward facing one of the most daunting tasks in women's rugby - taking on five-time World Cup winners New Zealand.
The Black Ferns weren't at their best in the first half against Australia in their opener but recovered to win 41-17 while Wales will be buoyed by their dramatic win over Scotland.
Rose is focused on the job at hand but has added incentive to make her mark on and off the field.
"I want girls to think of me if they're having a bad day and then think 'I can just go and do it'. That's my aim in this. I want to do the best I can for my country and everything and be the best rugby player I can be, but I would also like to help people as well."
Wales face World Cup holders New Zealand on Sunday, October 16 at 3.15am.