In a candid interview with Soccer Saturday, Cardiff City manager Neil Warnock opens up about a traumatic period for the club, all as they look to achieve Premier League survival.
Cardiff completed a club-record deal for Emiliano Sala on January 19 but he died when the private plane carrying him to Cardiff crashed into the English Channel two days later.
Warnock explains how the club have battled through the difficult time, and the emotions he has felt over recent months.
Cardiff, who sit 18th in the Premier League, are two points from safety but with a game in hand, and host Chelsea on Super Sunday, live on Sky Sports Premier League at 2.05pm.
"It has been as difficult a season as I've ever had in my career, and you know, I've had 30 odd years in now. It's just such a challenge to keep going and try and put performances in, but the lads have done that.
"It is something that I've never experienced in my life, and I think I've seen more games than anybody else in the country at the moment, but somehow you have to get through.
"When things like that happen it puts everything into perspective. You think about your own children, your families, and you go back over asking could you have done things differently? But then you are in charge, and you have to steer the club through this, through the waters. And that's what I felt."
Warnock admitted he had not predicted how some of his players would take Sala's death, but was full of pride for how the club have dealt with the grief.
"I felt the emotion on a number of occasions, none more so than when we went over to Argentina for the funeral. But life goes on and we have to grasp what we've got.
"I felt really emotional, and you don't realise that one or two of the lads felt like that as well. They hardly met him, I met him a couple of times. I didn't feel it would affect the lads as much, but three or four of the lads were really affected.
"People like Joe Bennett, who lost his father in January, and then on top of this and everything else, it's a lot for a young lad. They've come through it, these lads, and I've got nothing but pride in how they've handled it."
After guiding Cardiff to an unlikely promotion from the Championship last season, Warnock's side are still in with a good chance of survival.
The 70-year-old again denied reports of a rift in the Cardiff squad, and insists one of his biggest achievements at the club is creating the togetherness that is apparent now.
"You'll always got the odd lad, who is probably not involved as much, talking to ex-players and stories come out.
"I don't see it really. I think they're all singing from the same hymn sheet. I think you can tell that from training. The training has been as good as I've known it since I've been here, in the last two weeks, even with the internationals away it has been spot on.
"I don't see diversions at all. I think everybody is trying their hardest. We're not going to give up without a fight, I think we're still making three or four clubs above us nervous, to say the least."
And after admitting in November that he wouldn't bet on Cardiff staying up, Warnock re-iterated his stance.
"Of course I wouldn't! I think we're still odds-on to go down, maybe, and I'm a realist I suppose in that respect.
"I don't think it bothers the lads [saying things like that] - we've been together through all sorts over the past couple of years. They always bounce back, the lads, the attitude is fabulous, and we can play some good stuff."